Tips for Overcoming Self-Loathing
Available with English captions and subtitles in Spanish.
Self-hatred, or self-loathing, is a common and painful experience for people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and related disorders. However, none of the major treatments specifically target this symptom. Treating severe, chronic self-loathing can be challenging for the clinician and disheartening for the patient, as standard approaches are often ineffective.
Dr. Blaise Aguirre looks at the nature and presentation of self-loathing, considers its development in people living with BPD and related conditions, reviews the literature on the topic, and suggests some approaches to consider in tackling the experience of self-hatred.
- How often is self-loathing related to disorders other than BPD?
- How do you best work with a therapist who sees your self-loathing as you being indifferent to improving your mental wellness?
- Is there a relationship between perfectionism and self-loathing?
- How do you speak to a teen or young adult who you can clearly see is struggling with self-loathing?
- Any suggestions for working with young people with a resistance to being compassionate towards themselves?
- Does McLean address self-loathing when treating all teens for BPD or is it on a case-by-case basis?
- Can a child grow up in a good home situation and develop self-loathing due to something like bullying at school? How do you help support a child in a situation like this?
- How do you not allow self-loathing to sabotage relationships? These feelings can so easily creep into all areas of life that it seems impossible to overcome.
- If you are married to someone who hates themselves, how do you deal with the frustration that comes with them not seeing their own value?
- How do you help someone with BPD who struggles with self-loathing who can sometimes be proud of themselves yet struggle with others not offering praise when they feel it is deserved?
- How should someone struggling with self-loathing get started on the road to successfully managing it?
- Is it common for those who struggle with self-loathing to sabotage themselves in order to reinforce their feelings?
- You spoke about reacting to self-loathing. Does the same go for self-harm?
- How do we help BPD patients whose destructive tendencies feed their self-loathing?
- Is there a way to measure self-loathing in patients?
- What does recovery from BPD look like to you?
- Do you have a book that you think that every parent or patient should read about BPD?
- How is the more “normative” self-loathing experienced by individuals who do not have BPD or related disorders different from “pathological” self-loathing experienced by people who do have these disorders?
- When people struggle with self-loathing, it seems as if nothing gets through to them to change how they feel. How do we approach someone in our lives who says very negative things about themselves?
- Are there studies looking at the relationship between being adopted and attachment disorders?
- What do you think of the democratic therapeutic community model for addressing self-loathing in BPD?
The information discussed is intended to be educational and should not be used as a substitute for guidance provided by your health care provider. Please consult with your treatment team before making any changes to your care plan.